Don’t confuse taking care of yourself with selfishness

This is why people forget who they are. They tend to lose themselves in a relationship and/or family. I see it all the time and I actually still have a problem with this from time to time. A healthy person and a healthy soul begin with you. When you’re happy and content it will filter through you and into your relationship/family.

Have a conversation with your partner/spouse and let them know that you need this time and that it’s an essential part of your relationship and well-being.

Taking care of yourself can be simple, but needs to be deliberate. Carve out time for you, for your sanity.

Take care of me list:

ü  Meditate

ü  Exercise

ü  Take a nice warm bath

ü  Go for a quiet drive

ü  Walk

ü  Pedicure

ü  Get your hair done

ü  Write a letter

ü  Read

ü  Go to a movie

ü  Call a friend

~start out with whatever you can carve out and build on it; even if you only can find five minutes.

It’s vital that we have balance in our lives and give ourselves permission to take care of ourselves.

Benefits of taking care of you…

confidence

self awareness

hopes

dreams

comfort

wellness

health

focus

peace

Results of not taking care of you…

anger

poor health

confusion

discord         

loneliness

depression

sadness

 resentment

Be your own best friend and take charge of your own well-being by taking care of yourself.

What a wonderful world...

You may think that I’m being a little too Pollyanna-ish, don’t leave just yet, hear me out. It truly astounds me that we have immense opportunities at our fingertips. We have the freedom to change what we’re doing and do something else or do multiple new things at a time. We can go back to school, learn to sew, bake or cook and we can start a new blog anytime. It’s truly mind blowing if you think about it.

It also amazes me at the diverse creativity and opinions people have and how far they'll go in order to express them. I have learned so much from others opinions, experiences and how they  are so willing to share with amazing detail. I want to thank each and every person for sharing their invaluable information that they worked so hard to research and compile.

It encourages me when I see how much compassion people have for one another and the risks and the sacrifices they make in helping each other out. People are good. 

We are so inundated with negative news that I think we lose sight of that. For instance, the people who helped out the victims of Superstorm Sandy, the military who fight for our freedom, the stranger who pulled a baby to safety from a wrecked car, the person who opens a door for the elderly or those with special needs and don't forget about those who Pay it Forward. God created people to be helpers and encouragers; we need each other.

We also have choices, you can choose to see the positive or negative in any situation. I would like to encourage you to take the high road and opt for the positive.  It’s not always easy, but well worth it.

Smile; it may be the only smile someone sees all day!

Seasons Change…

I love summer and hate to see it go. I almost feel a sense of remorse and tend to think about and hold on to all the fun things I did and all the people I enjoyed spending time with. It seems like I have to let all that go when summer ends.

Then fall arrives ever so slightly. The days become a little shorter and the evenings are a little cooler. The leaves begin to change color and there’s that feeling in the air, where you just know, that the season is changing.

That’s how life is; always changing. You meet new people and do new things and then something changes. You find yourself caught up in new and different things and don’t spend as much time as you’d like with the friends and family that you love.

It’s so easy to stay connected these days. Technology can be a wonderful thing, but so can handwritten cards or a note, or even a quick phone call to say “hello”.

It’s important to take time to enjoy the people around you and appreciate them for all the things you have in common and all the things that are different. Don’t be closed minded and surround yourself with only like minded people. We all need a challenge and we need to learn to think outside of ourselves. Even if we never agree with the other person, we can always agree to disagree and love them all the same.

Embrace the changes; that’s how you became who you are!

Get Sassy...

With yourself, that is. From time to time you need to take charge and check-in with yourself and determine:

• Where you are
• Where you want to be
• How you’re going to get there

It’s easy to get yourself into a rut, but there isn’t any reason to stay there. Once in a while you need to let go of something that you’ve been holding on to, especially if it isn’t good for your mental and/or physical well being. That doesn’t mean you’re giving up, it means that your moving forward and opening yourself up to a new venture, a new attitude.

My mother-in-law gave me some very simple, great advice on how to handle recurring issues that tend to nag at you, here it is:

• Get a piece of paper
• Draw a line down the middle
• Title one side positives and the other side negatives
• Pick a topic 
• Jot down the positives and negatives; be honest
• If there are more positives than negatives, give yourself permission to press through and deal with the issue (e.g., job, person, diet, exercise and etc.)
• If there are more negatives than positives, you may want to work on getting rid of the issue and move on to something more productive

Something miraculous happens when you write things down and you’re seeing them on paper and they’re not swimming around in your head anymore. You almost have no choice except to deal with them. 

Take a personal inventory often; it gives you a chance to be true to yourself and who you want to be!

Stripped!

Got your attention didn’t I? Ok, so maybe I listened to a little too much Christina Aguilera on my drive home from Michigan to Florida.

I found the topic of this album very interesting. In an interview , at the ripe ol’ age of 22, Aguilera explains that this album is about coming in to her own and being unafraid to let the world see who she is.

Sometimes we are pressured to think, act, feel and like the same things as family, friends and co-workers. It can sneak up on you; you don’t even realize that you dislike something because you’ve always done it that way and frankly you don’t want to disappoint anyone.

So what does it mean to come in to your own? According to McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc., “to become independent; to be recognized as independent and capable, usually after much effort or time.”

So, how do you get started on trying to find out who you are and what you like or dislike? It begins with transparency. Be honest with yourself and think about what you really like and don’t like.

Take a stand; be You, everywhere (e.g., home, work, with significant other, by yourself, school and etc.). It’s ok; some people will like you and some won’t. It doesn’t matter as long as you are being true to yourself.

Come in to your own hints:

• Love who you are
• Take a good look in the mirror and tell yourself that you’re smart and beautiful. This may sound a little crazy, but you need to tell yourself positive things rather than picking out all the negative things about yourself. Which leads me too…

• Don’t talk smack about yourself
• We seem to always pick out the worst in ourselves and tell the world about it. There is no reason to continue doing this. Respect yourself and realize that you mess up. When you do, learn from it and move on. Don’t beat yourself up.

• Take care of yourself
• Exercise and eat healthy, in moderation. You don’t need to go crazy. This is good practice for your physical body and your mental health.

• Enjoy a hobby or two
• It’s ok, even if you’re raising a family, to take up a hobby. You need to do this for you.  If you don’t have a hobby, find one.  It’s important to do something that you enjoy. It can be as simple as reading a book, riding your bike, cooking or praying.

• Choose your friends wisely
• Make sure your friends are positive and encouraging. Separate yourself from the “depleters” of the world. These people drain every ounce of energy from you. You don’t need that. You need people who are honest with you and who can challenge you and not pull you down. 

It takes time, sometimes a lifetime, to come in to your own. Practice confidence and loving yourself. You can do this; take one step at a time.

I Ate an Egg!

So what’s the big deal? I have disliked eggs all of my life. I mean, I can’t stand them. However, it’s come to the point where there aren’t hardly any healthy breakfast choices unless you include eggs in your diet.

I love veggies, so I cut up a ton of them and added an egg. Just yesterday, I cut up a hard-boiled egg and added it to my tuna salad. It wasn't so bad; I hardly tasted it at all. I realized that I have been making a huge deal about not liking eggs way too long and dodging around and trying to avoid them, when it’s really not so bad. I can do this!

How about you? Is there an egg you are avoiding in your life? Have you been researching and analyzing the egg to death and afraid to tackle because of the what ifs?

Maybe it’s...

v       Changing jobs

v       Beginning a new chapter in your life

v       Moving

v       Starting a blog

v       New diet and exercise routine

Whatever it may be, it’s time to jump in and take control of the situation. You can do it; so what if it fails. It may not. You’ll never know unless you do it! 

Do not fear mistakes. You will know failure. Continue to reach out. ~Ben Franklin

Family

What thoughts and feelings come to mind about family? Good, bad or indifferent; your family is part of you and you are a part of them. 

Family isn’t always related. I’ve dared to step into another parent’s territory taking in and loving their children as my own. In return, I have deeply appreciated friends who’ve loved me like a sister or daughter when my sister and mother were many miles away.

I had a very enlightening moment last November, when my daughter had her first child; there is nothing like the entire family getting together to support one another in accomplishing a goal. In this case, it was a miracle from God and we couldn’t wait to be introduced to a beautiful baby boy. 

The whole family embraced the pregnancy by:

v       Tagging along to the  doctor visits to see the baby on the sonogram

v       Celebrating together  when we found out the sex of the baby

v       Guessing who the baby would look like

v       Consoling him while rubbing  momma’s belly and talking to him

v       Being  there during labor and  timing contractions

v       Trying to make her comfortable

v       Staying  up all night at the hospital

v       Assisting  with the delivery

v       Preparing meals

v       Feeding  the baby

v       Babysitting

v       Arguing

v       Getting along

v       Having fun

As I reflect (something you do when you start having grandchildren), I find it crazy that I never asked for help when I was raising my children. What was I thinking? Thank goodness I now have a completely different view on how challenging and rewarding it is to raise children, while trying to balance and maintain other relationships.  I’ve decided to make it a point to do my part by being there for my family. It will be an honor and a privilege to be an integral part of their lives. 

Can you find strength and encouragement in your family? If not, maybe you need to be the encourager or the person your family looks up to. There is no greater reward than your family.

It takes a whole village to raise a child.~ African Proverb.